I have a confession to make: I’ve waited so long to post another entry because I’ve feared that I’ve (inevitably) become a basic bitch (see definition #2) .As much as I despise that term (and all things derogatory to women), secretly I’ve dreaded being marked with that scarlet label for a LONG TIME.
In my early 20s, shit just popped off naturally. By shit I mean excessive drinking, excessive money spending, then excessive dudes spending money on me and my friends, then excessive sexcapades with aforementioned dudes (the type of shit that would make for an interesting Carrie Bradshaw type of blog). There was also more traveling around the world and meeting new and interesting people, but it was mainly excessive sexcapades with dudes.
All that glitters is not real money, honey.
When you live fast, it seems you die young – not in the physical sense always. I’m only in early 30s territory and I feel like I’ve maxed out on all the pink, glittery credit line that is (metaphorically) female youth. This past week consisted of doing work from my day job at home, searching for an apartment that’ll still allow me to open a Gerber fund for my future child one day, and laying in bed too lazy to log into Netflix during my “down time”. I’m literally that tumbleweed rolling in the plains (see above near title) – but not just any tumbleweed, but that cheesy animation tumbleweed that can’t even at least look fierce when blowing through the dry spell (it’s always been difficult for me to fake it ’til I make it).
Is it just me, or are females the only gender that have the extraordinary pressure of always having an exciting weekend/nightlife? Like dudes be sitting in two-day old filth playing Xbox 360 or standing in line for 12 hours to purchase exorbitantly priced sneakers based on a cartoon character, and that would be considered a successful use of time left here on Earth.
Let me know if I’m wrong, but unless a chic is procreating or doing the things that would usually lead to procreation, she’s not living a fulfilled life – in our modern society’s opinion that is. Sounds about right and extremely screwed up, but how else am I going to become a lifestyle blogger interesting enough and exploding with popularity? You don’t watch “Real Housewives” because misses got Master’s degrees and are raising the children in accordance to the righteous way of God. And how often do you (females, I’m talking to you) reach out to genuinely befriend the woman whose idea of a good ‘ole time is a simple card game with friends, or knitting club?
Fun things to do while your personality buffers…
I was listening for the first time to Bevy Smith’s “Bevy Says” and she, Mona Scott-Young, and Sukanya Krishnan talked about the pressures of women “having it all”. It was somewhat inspiring to hear them speak on their plans for gains and goals in their 40s, 50s and 60s. Sukanya said some interesting things about the “hustle” women must be able to endure to have the high life of career, man/husband, and family – basically saying that if you want it all you have to understand that it’s a grind and it’s not as glamorous as it seems. So then, my question was, why bother? Why all this hype about the independent woman who can make ends without a man, but yet has a man (and a GORGEOUS man) to come home to? Perhaps, maybe, in an “ideal” world I’d like to post up* in a mansion my rich husband bought and be a housewife – but some say even that is not entirely fun and is extremely “Basketball Wives” type of basic bitch.
I tend to ramble, but I guess the point I’m tryna make is, females always seem to be running away from mundane. As if any life decision we make is being scrutinized for how eventful or uneventful it is, or how much it contributes to your groupie friends being able to live vicariously and financially off of you. If you’re the Chimamanda Ngozi Addiche type feminist (“a person who believes in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes”) I wonder what your definition of “mundane” is in the context of leading a life as a female.
A great quote from the book Feminism and Discourse: Psychological Perspectives seems to offer some insight:
The enormous advantage of the concept of ideology is that it raises the question – just in whose interests is the romantic nexus of power/knowledge and subject positioning? Who benefits here?
If I may attempt to translate – in non-boogie speak – this can be saying that generally we (society/females) need to question who is controlling how success is defined for the male and the female. Why is it that the “eye gaze” dropping away is more fatal for the female than the male? Why must the female’s spotlight always be validated? We invented dimmers, didn’t we? Because we don’t always need/want shit blinding us in the face. There’s a time and value and place for a soft, mellow glow (I heard red lights can be extra special – saving mine for the honeymoon though – #thestruggletho).
Anyway, I think the point has been made. For some reason we’re so conditioned to say (at least for women) that it’s light or lights out – period. There’s always more to say, quote or pontificate over, but essentially I wanted you to know that if I decide not to write for six days straight and you decide to be like “Fuk that Bish, that last post was corny anyway” then SAY IT TO MY FACE, MEET ME OUTSIDE ON THE CORNER, or just better yet, unfollow me. I’m setting the record straight right now. I aim to be the next best humor-lifestyle-fashion-entertainment-hyphenated blog out there, but I will do it according to MY OWN definition of poppin** vs. mundane.
Ladies, if you didn’t know, know this: you bright. You a diamond.
*Wise to use third definition of “post up” in this context. You’re welcome.
**Definition #4 please and thanks.